Generate complex totals statement

I want to automatically generate a totals statement at the bottom of my spreadsheet like the following:


where the three numerical values (in bold) are generated into the text in a line of merged cells.

How can I do that? Is it even possible? I don’t know if I need to add more detail here.

To add some detail: I know how to calculate each of the numerical values using the functions COUNTIF(), COUNTA(), & SUM(). I am doing that already. I just want to embed those calculated values into the text strings that applies to them. And because this spreadsheet must be imported to other software such as third party apps, I want it at the bottom. Just makes it easier.

Counting by formulas is possible. You need to learn about COUNT(), COUNTA(), COUNTIF(), COUNTIFS() probably, and additional functions are useful in the context depending on the specifics of the sheets. For adding up a column use SUM(), SUMIFS() or … depending on the specifics again.
Merging cells is evil.
Don’t insist on drawing totals below the data. That’s paper think. Placing totals above the data mostly is much more practical.

Use the concatenation operator & to join your text and formulae. Something along the lines of:

= COUNTIF(paid members stuff) & " PAID MEMBERS, "& COUNTIF(whatever)&" EMAIL ADDRESSES, TOTAL DUES COLLECTED = "&SUM(dues)

Or there is a function CONCATENATE.

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