Word wrap _and_ shrink text for long names, short names in cell

I’m trying to make a spreadsheet for displaying a schedule of several columns and rows of names to print out on a single page. The number of columns and rows limits us to two lines of text in a readable font size, with a certain width. We’ve got short names and long ones, and I’m hoping to find some way to automatically fit the names into the available cells in a standard manner.

With an example long name like “John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt” word wrap puts ‘John Jacob’ on the first line, "Jingleheimer’ on the second, and ‘schmitt’ on the third making it appear as four names. With hypens available, it’s ‘John Jacob’ ‘Jingle-’ ‘heimer-’ ‘schmitt’ across four lines, even worse.

With medium names, ‘George Washington’ gets split across two lines perfectly fine without hyphenation, but gets split into ‘George Wash-’ and ‘ington’ with hyphentation.

Doing a Shrink to fit on the cells puts the whole name across the cell, in a rather tiny font, making the long names quite unreadable.

What would be ideal would be to do a bit of both - put ‘John Jacob’ on one line, and ‘Jingleheimerschmitt’ on the second, then shrink the font for the whole cell a little bit so that the long name fits the cell. Is there a way to automatically do this? I have been changing font sizes manually to make it happen, but this is becoming less of an option as the list of names grows.

Not automatically. Wrap and Shrink are mutually exclusive. You could insert a line break after “Jacob” and set the cell to shrink. Note that joining names together is not an easily reversible process, they are separate data
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Consider using a narrower font, you get more letters per cell width with Liberation Serif than with Liberation Sans. For more condensed font, you could try Imbue. This 3rd party page lists some more examples of condensed fonts, 25 Best Condensed Google Fonts (With Examples)

Below is

  • Liberation serif with line break and cell set to Shrink text
  • Imbue font with hyphenation and cell set to Wrap
    ImbueFont